Choose Civility by Eliminating “Rudeness”

  An article by my colleague Arnold Sanow defines "rudeness" and offers statistics on the costs of un-civil behavior in organizations. With his permission (and a byline and link at the end of this post), I reproduce his article here in its entirety.

A study concerning rudeness in the workplace by The University of North Carolina asked 1601 people if there was rudeness, backstabbing, poor communication and incivility in the workplace. Out of those 1601 people interviewed 89% said yes. However, they asked those same 1601 people if they were ever uncivil, rude, negative or talked behind others backs and 99% of them said no.

The problem is many times we don't see ourselves. Also, many times people don't give us feedback and we are not aware what we are doing is considered rude.

For example, I was in an elevator minding mind own business and I started to cough. I was coughing and I did not have my hand in front of my mouth. All of a sudden from the back of the elevator, a woman yelled, " My Mother Taught Me That When You Cough You Should Always Should Put Your Hand In Front Of Your Mouth ". I slowly turned around apologized and stated that I appreciated her letting me know this and that I just wasn't thinking. She immediately calmed down and told me, "You are so nice, when I tell people what I told you in the same "nice way" they immediately become hostile." To her she felt she was communicating in a nice way and couldn't understand why people didn't listen to her and thought she was rude.

To make sure we understand what "rudeness" means, here's a list of the Top 10 acts of rudeness according to Joel H Neuman from the State University of New York at New Paltz:
1. Talking about someone behind his/her back.
2. Interrupting others when they are speaking or working.
3. Flaunting status or authority; acting in a condescending manner.
4. Belittling someone's opinion to others.
5. Failing to return phone calls or respond to memos.
6. Giving others the silent treatment
7. Insults, yelling and shouting
8. Verbal forms of sexual harassment
9. Staring, dirty looks or other negative eye contact.
10. Intentionally damning with faint praise

Once we understand these we need to eliminate them from our behavior. A new study shows that rude employees cost companies millions in lost productivity. In fact in a study done by Christine Pearson of the University of North Carolina notes that:

* 53% said they've lost hours of productivity sweating about "what will happen next time?"
* 46% considered changing jobs
* 37% say they feel less committed to their company
* 22% deliberately got even by cutting back their efforts.

The only person you can change is yourself. Look at the top 10 "rudeness magnets" and reduce or eliminate them … NOW!

About Arnold Sanow: Arnold Sanow is a Speaker, Seminar Leader, Facilitator and Coach. He is the author of "Get Along with Anyone, Anytime, Anywhere". Website: www.arnoldsanow.com.  E-mail: speaker@arnoldsanow.com.

Think about the words you use when you write a note or respond to a post or comment online. Be aware that how you say something to someone means as much – if not more – than what you actually say. Make "choose civility" more than a bumper-sticker slogan.