High-Class Insults: When Language Had “Class”
From a post on another professional member list to which I subscribe…
These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words…not to mention waving middle fingers.
You have to think about what they say in order to "catch" the insult. Brilliant! You don't know you've been insulted until AFTER you've been so wronged. Enjoy.
"He had delusions of adequacy." – Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." – Winston Churchill
"A modest little person, with much to be modest about." – Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." – Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." – William Faulkner
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." – Moses Hades
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." – Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." – Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends." – Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend. If you have one." – George Bernard Shaw
"I Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second… If there is one." – Winston Churchill, in response to the above insult.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." – Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." – John Bright
"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others." – Samuel Johnson
"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." – Jack E. Leonard
"He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." – Robert Redford
"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." – Thomas Brackett Reed
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." – Forrest Tucker
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." – Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." – Oscar Wilde
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." – Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." – Groucho Marx